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5 Things You Must Do When You Get Promoted Over A Friend

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Friendships at work can be a harbor in hard times, providing a much-needed refuge from unstable work conditions and bad bosses. In a survey of more than 195,600 employees, Gallup found that 20% of U.S. employees said they had a best friend at work. This camaraderie pays off: Gallup also found that employees with best friends had stronger engagement at work.

But these bonds can also entangle employees in a mess of hurt feelings and awkwardness. Patricia Sias, a University of Arizona researcher who studies workplace friendships, found that a promotion is one of the five primary reasons those friendships deteriorate.

When you and your close work friend are both competing for a job promotion, tensions arise as you balance career ambitions with friendship. Friends give unconditional support in our most vulnerable hours, while co-workers’ support must, by the definition of the role, come with limits.

And unlike romantic relationships, you may need to preserve such relationships to keep your job.

“If you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have the option to never see them again,” Sias said. “But if you break up with a friend at work ― unless one of you quits and especially if you’re interdependent and you need each other ― you have to see them every day. It’s very painful for people.”

If you emerge the victor and get the job promotion to do the project or manage the team of your dreams, maintaining a relationship gets tricky and awkward.

It can be done, but it takes extra work.

1. Accept that your relationship will have to change
You may think you can carry on your relationship as usual after you get a promotion. But friendship, even in the best circumstances, takes time and effort. In an elevated role, this can be more difficult.

Jessica Methot is a human resources management researcher at Rutgers University who has studied the tensions built within workplace friendships in insurance companies, restaurants and retail settings. In a 2015 study, she found that friendships can make employees feel more trust, more alive and positively energized. But maintaining the dual roles of friend and colleague can also be draining.

If you get promoted over your friend into a position with more power, Methot recommends prioritizing the role of objective colleague first, by being strategic about how your personal interactions will look to colleagues.

“You’re going to have to privilege the professional aspect of the relationship,” Methot said. “It’s really important for the person who was promoted to maintain a professional image as well where they aren’t seemingly privileging their friend, giving them better shifts, or giving them useful resources, or sharing privileged information that they aren’t sharing with the rest of employees.”

This can mean limiting your one-on-one time at work. “If we see the supervisor and their friend chatting or whispering all the time, it’s really going to make the rest of their co-workers concerned about what is happening and that they are not being fully involved,” Methot said.

But don’t overcompensate on this new boundary by treating your friend worse than others, Sias said: “You need to be prepared to explain your decisions.”

2. Talk through what your future will look like
Talking about the promotion is both a basic task and a monumental undertaking. You may fall under the psychological trap called the “illusion of transparency,” in which you overestimate how well you know the thoughts and feelings of people you are close with. In other words, you may think you know your work friend well enough that you do not have to talk about it.

But you must communicate about the job change, both for your friendship and your professional reputation. “I think you do need to have an expectations-setting conversation to really revisit what your friendship looks like going forward and what both of you need out of it at that point,” said Melody Wilding, an executive coach and licensed social worker.

When you are talking about it, Methot said, you should dwell less on why you were promoted over your friend and more on how this will change your future relationship. She suggests asking your friend, “How can we move forward with this?”

3. Acknowledge your friend’s hurt feelings
Sias recommends acknowledging the other person’s feelings in your conversation with them: “It shows respect to the person that you’ve acknowledged their side of it.”

If your work friend is hurt by the promotion outcome, you should focus on their feelings more than on your own promotion, Wilding said. “The best way to get over hurt emotions is to get through them, and the best way to do that is to communicate about them,” she said.

You could say, “I know this was important to you. How are you doing?” instead of, “Oh, I know I got this promotion over you. How are you feeling about that?” Wilding said.

If your work friend is openly jealous, do not get defensive about the emotion. Instead, ask questions about it. If you are told that you “stole” the promotion, Wilding suggests validating and mirroring back the same language instead of challenging them with, “That’s not what happened!”

“I would say, ‘I understand you’re feeling like I stole this from you.’ Say the words back to them to make sure they understand that they are being heard,” Wilding said. Then you can follow that up with, “I want to understand more about where that is coming from.”

4. Master the impulse to fix your friend’s feelings
Understand that you cannot control your friend’s reactions. If they are not as enthusiastic as you want about your promotion, do not try to change that.

Wilding said employees can feel that they have to fix their friend’s feelings, but, “That’s not really our responsibility. Our responsibility is to be empathetic and to communicate to the extent that we can.“

Do not go above and beyond your role to make your friend feel better about the situation.

“Watch that you’re not subconsciously trying to make it up for your friend in other ways, because I think we do that where we feel like, ‘Oh, I can fix this hurt by giving them more favorable opportunities,’” Wilding said.

5. Watch your language
Not getting a promotion can sting. As Methot put it, a promotion is a “reflection on each of the parties in terms of their performance and their status” and can signal to an unpromoted employee that perhaps they aren’t good enough.

Be sensitive to your co-worker’s feelings by not gloating about it in front of them. Avoid the dichotomous language of competition of “winning” and “losing,” and “success” and “failure” to discuss how you got the promotion and they didn’t.

“‘Received,’ ‘put into a new position,’ ‘taking on a new role’ would be a much better way to frame it,” Sias said.

If you’re a good friend, you already understand that you should not lord the promotion over your work friend. But you should also avoid direct comparisons between the two of you when talking about it, such as, “Well, I’ve performed better.” Instead of using “better fit,” try “good fit,” Methot suggested.

Talking about the promotion with your friend means understanding that your promotion does not mean their failure.

“Especially in the workplace, there are so many variables that go into who is getting a promotion over someone else,” Wilding said. “It’s really about the person that is going to be the right fit for that role rather than someone winning or losing.”

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Men Also Contract HPV. So Why Aren’t They Tested Like Women Are?

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Most sexually active women in the modern era know about human papillomavirus. Some were offered the HPV vaccine in their early teenage years and saw the ads all over television about reducing the risk of cervical cancer.

But women aren’t the only ones who contract HPV. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 79 million American women and men are currently infected with HPV. And while awareness about how men can contract and spread the virus is increasing, there’s still a gap between women and men when it comes to prevention and treatment.

Simply put: Men aren’t routinely tested like women are. In fact, there’s currently no approved test for HPV in men.

PORTRA VIA GETTY IMAGES
“Men can be tested during an anal pap smear if they request that the tests include one for HPV,” said Sunny Rodgers, a sex educator and ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association. “However, an anal pap smear is not usually included in male exams unless the individual has tested positive for HIV.”

Most people with HPV have no symptoms, so they wouldn’t necessarily know to request testing for the virus. If they do develop symptoms, the most common is genital warts in both men and women.

“These warts usually appear near the sex organs … and can be a single bump or a group of bumps close together,” Rodgers said. “They can have different shapes ― some are raised, others flat, and in groups, they can look like the head of a cauliflower. They can be flesh-tone, white, pink and red in color.”

Bumps may also itch ― and they can be treated, said Carlos Malvestutto, an infectious disease expert with The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. “There are topical antiviral medications to treat genital warts,” he explained. “Larger or more numerous genital warts can be treated with cryoablation, laser ablation, electrocautery or surgery.”

That said, most people have few or no symptoms of HPV, and the immune system will clear the virus on its own in the vast majority of cases. High-risk HPV strains that are never cleared from body are usually the ones docs are most concerned about because they’re linked to an increased risk of cancer; specifically, HPV16 and HPV18 may lead to cervical, anal, oropharyngeal, penile, vaginal and vulvar cancers.

Why Men Aren’t Tested, Even Though HPV Affects Them

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So, if men and women both get HPV that can cause disease, why aren’t men also regularly tested at a doctor’s appointment? It has to do with whether discovering HPV can lead to any form of prevention.

Women are tested for HPV as part of their pap smears, which they typically get once every three years from ages 21 to 65, unless their doctors decide more frequent testing should occur. This is specifically to look for abnormal cervical cells.

“The American Cancer Society has found that cervical cancer can be prevented. Therefore, HPV is tested for during female pap smears because HPV can lead to cervical cancer,” Rodgers said. “There is a direct correlation between testing and prevention. But thus far, there is very little research showing male anal HPV testing as a certain preventive measure for cancer.”

The Food and Drug Administration approved HPV testing as a primary screening for cervical cancer in 2014. There is ongoing research being conducted on an HPV test for men, but so far the FDA hasn’t approved one. According to a study published in The Journal of the American Osteopathic Association, testing a man’s mouth or throat was not an effective way to discover HPV.

Discovering a test for men is vital for the culture that surrounds HPV as well, Rogers said. Since only women can currently be tested, it reinforces the notion that HPV is a woman’s sexually transmitted infection. However, the CDC reports that approximately 25% of men in the U.S. have high-risk HPV, compared to only 20% of women.

“The stigma associated with women having to be the primary individuals tested for HPV is so evident that there are has been research documenting it,” Rodgers said. “According to the BMJ, raising public awareness of the sexually transmitted nature of HPV can potentially increase women’s feelings of stigma, shame and anxiety ― but their research also found that when women learned HPV was common, it helped reduce these feelings by ‘normalizing’ the infection.”

How To Prevent HPV

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In the absence of a test that can screen for HPV, prevention mechanisms are still powerful.

The majority of people contract HPV when they become sexually active, according to the CDC. Experts stress that the vaccine is something everyone should ask their doctor about.

Gardasil prevents nine different strains of HPV, including two low-risk strains that cause genital warts and seven high-risk strains that are linked to cancer. While it’s typically given to boys and girls when they’re 11 or 12, it’s often recommended for ages up to 26 ― and perhaps even later than that.

“Prior to October 2018, Gardasil was used to vaccinate males and females from ages nine to 26 only,” Rodgers said. “But on that date, the FDA approved its use for people aged 27 to 45.”

The approval was based on a long-term study of 3,200 women in this older age group, in which the vaccine was 88% effective in preventing infection and cancer. Men in the older age category should see improved prevention as well, according to the FDA.

“Even for someone who has a history of genital warts or has been found to have HPV-associated lesions, there is still benefit to taking the vaccine because it will protect them from acquiring any of the other high-risk genotypes that they could become exposed to,” Malvestutto said.

The importance of the vaccine can’t be understated, Malvestutto added. “Widespread adoption of this vaccine is leading to a reduction in incidence of cervical cancer in several countries around the world,” he said. “In Australia, it is estimated that cervical cancer may be eliminated by 2028 due to the widespread adoption of the HPV vaccine.”

Aside from the vaccine, you should also reduce your risk of contracting HPV by practicing safe sex, though complete prevention isn’t always possible.

“At some point in their lives, most people will have the HPV virus,” Rodgers said. “There is only one way to not contract the HPV virus, and that’s totally avoiding any sexual contact.”

Condoms can offer some protection from HPV infection, though, and shouldn’t be discounted as a way to prevent the virus. “The HPV virus may be on skin that isn’t covered by the condom, but polyurethane condoms are made from a special type of plastic that helps prevent pregnancy and STI infection,” Rodgers said. “They are also good alternatives for anyone allergic to latex.”

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Everything In This New Line Of Clean Beauty Is Under $8

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While we can appreciate an elaborate skin care routine, sometimes you just need something easy and effortless — whether it’s makeup wipes to use while traveling so you can skip your usual double cleanse, or products simple enough for any beginner to start a basic morning routine. In a world of countless beauty products and new brands popping up, however, that idea of a no-frills routine sounds easier said than done.

That’s where Brandless comes in. The retailer offers affordable and quality products in slick packaging, with the goal of bringing morning routines back to the basics — without breaking the bank.

Brandless already has a pretty wide selection of clean and cruelty-free beauty and personal care items, including a grapefruit facial cleanser for $4 and a green tea and aloe body wash for $4. The new items — include a depuffing eye gel, rosewater facial toner spray, face wipes and vegan brushes — were added by customer request, and they’re all under $8.

We’re especially excited about the facial wipes, which come in a package of 30 for $4 and are made out of 100% plant-based ingredients in four different formulas to detox, exfoliate, rejuvenate or simply remove makeup — all perfect for refreshing on the go. There’s also an $8 depuffing eye gel formulated with probiotics, green tea, pomegranate and caffeine to stop swelling, banish dark circles and reduce fine lines — perfect for popping in your beauty fridge and applying after a late night or during allergy season.

If you’re not familiar with Brandless, it launched in 2017 as an online retailer for high-quality, affordable and consciously-curated products across categories like home, food, personal care. We called them the “Ikea of food,” without the furniture. The idea behind Brandless is that better doesn’t have to cost more, so the company offers items like organic snacks for $3 and compostable plant-based disposable plates for $3. Plus, for every purchase made on the site, Brandless donates a meal to someone facing hunger, in partnership with Feeding America.

The prices are pretty competitive when you compare them to other retailers, and then there’s the added convenience of not having to waste time comparing prices and ingredients between different brands. In a world where there are almost too many choices, it’s a refreshing change of pace.

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UFI releases figures showing global economic impact of exhibitions

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PARIS – For the first time, the total global economic impact of exhibitions has been calculated. With a total output of €275 ($325) billion in business sales annually, the exhibition sector is on a par with sectors such as machine tools or medical and surgical equipment.

UFI, the Global Association of the Exhibition Industry, worked with Oxford Economics to produce the ‘Global Economic Impact of Exhibitions’ report, which was also supported by SISO (Society of Independent Show Organisers). 

“This truly is a first for our industry,” says UFI President Craig Newman. “This new data will support us when we talk to stakeholders about our industry, especially as it’s broken down into the direct, measurable economic impact per exhibiting company – right down to the economic value of every single square metre of venue exhibition space. And on top of that, it makes me proud to work for our industry, knowing that we are securing over three million jobs.”

Based on UFI exhibition metrics, the model developed by Oxford Economics provides results for the world and also regional data for Africa, the Asia-Pacific, Central and South America, Europe, the Middle East and North America.

Key findings
The report shows the far-reaching impact of the exhibition sector, which generates €68.7 ($81.1) billion in direct GDP and contributes a total economic impact of €275 ($325) billion. This ranks the sector as the 56th largest economy in the world, larger than those of countries such as Hungary, Kuwait, Sri Lanka, and Ecuador.

In 2018, approximately 32,000 exhibitions directly involved 303 million visitors and over 4.5 million exhibitors across more than 180 countries. The total impact of €167 (US$198) billion in global GDP includes the direct spending and jobs that are specifically involved in planning and producing exhibitions, and for participants and exhibitors to travel to exhibitions, as well as other exhibition-related spending. Following the ISO definitions, an exhibition, show or fair is defined as an event where products, services or information are displayed and disseminated. Exhibitions differ from conferences, conventions, seminars or other business and consumer events, and exclude flea markets and street markets.

Europe was the largest market in terms of visitors, welcoming 112 million in 2018. This represents 37% of global exhibition visitors in 2018. North America ranked second, with 91 million visitors, followed by the Asia-Pacific with nearly 82 million visitors.

In terms of total GDP, North America ranked first with over €78.2 ($92.3) billion of total GDP attributable to the exhibitions sector. This accounts for nearly 47% of the sector’s global impact. Europe followed with €48.6 ($57.3) billion of total GDP, representing 29% of the sector’s global impact.

Overall, exhibitions globally generated €60,700 ($71,700) of total sales per exhibiting company and €7,900 of total sales per square metre ($870 per square foot) of venue gross indoor exhibition space.

Research will continue
As with every piece of global UFI research, such as the Global Barometer or the World Map of Venues, this study on economic impact allows country and market profiles to be added, using the same metrics. UFI has secured an arrangement with Oxford Economics that allows industry associations who are UFI members to have specific profiles for their home markets added to the report.

Kai Hattendorf, UFI Managing Director and CEO, says: “We are happy to be able to provide this new set of data which highlights the impact of the exhibition industry. The methodology can be used at national level wherever needed, and we hope that it will contribute to consistent data across the world for this important element of economic impact.”

David Audrain, SISO Executive/Managing Director, comments: “SISO is very pleased to have partnered with UFI in funding the production of this report. Having reliable statistics is key to measuring the growth and impact of the Industry. We hope that organizers from around the world will use this data to showcase the value of this industry to their stakeholders and governments.” 

Global Exhibitions Day to highlight the economic impact
The research was timed to provide the data during the run-up to Global Exhibitions Day 2019 on 5 June. Around the world, exhibition industry professionals, companies and associations, are organising a multitude of events and activities to highlight the critical role the industry plays in driving and fostering the growth of regional, national and international economies.

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